I wanted to write many a times, my biggest excuse is: my laptop has been replaced by my Ipad, which is great for browsing but not pouring your heart out on word document. This is so funny, even putting it in writing…compare it to 10 years ago, I would say, writing with a pen on a nice notepad is never the same as typing on word document. This proves the fact, times have changed and we do change ourselves knowingly or unknowingly.
Life has changed from the last time I blogged, I am no longer just “Me”, I am a mother, and I too have a family. We had a daughter “Mahi”, on July 21, 2011 and that instance changed our lives and opened our hearts to the most unselfish love, true laughter, tears of joy and made us believe in miracles. She just turned two, and I loved and thanked each and every moment of this 2 years and 9 months.
She would laugh with us, because we are laughing…and in turn we would start laughing as she is laughing. Anytime before, we would fight and I would think of me, and now the first thought that crosses my mind is her and that she needs both of us, she needs a Mama and a Papa. I look at her and think, my parents must have felt the same for me, they must have loved us the same…and it must have been painful for them to see us grow and become distant.
Time will turn out to be as it is…but I will love her and be there for her anywhere and everywhere…I can only wish and pray and try my hardest to not become distant for her, as she grows older through her childhood, to her teens, to experiencing life on her own. My promise to Mahi, “I will be there by your side, when you find your love, if ever your heart breaks, when you need me, when you want to hang out with me, when you need advise, when you miss me.”
In the first few days of when she was born, I said to Nandan, “Imagine, she will have a baby too. She will be a mother…and I want to be there when she has her baby.” This is beauty of having a girl.
Mama…that is the feeling that makes for being alive.